This post may contain swear words. Mature!

I am FED UP and EXTREMLY UNHAPPY/PISSED OFF atm!!

Number one. I have a load of exams soon and I am STRESSED!! I dunno wtf i am doing in half of it and no one will fucking help me! The teacher (who is awesome bless him) just carries on and im left blundering behind! It's a pile of fucking shit! Then I'll ask someone else, they explain it once then piss off, that or they don't even bother. Charlie if you're reading this I don't mean you, your one of the few that DOES.

Then I have English exams, and on top of that science. Which is one of my hardest sudjects, last module got a D!! For gods sake its too much all at once! Then my French teacher is like 'coursework this! coursework that! you must get this done!' I dont think she realises just how LOADED we are atm. But does she care? HELL NO! All she cares about is her fucking department looking good!

Then, I have everything with Jamies mam. I dunno wtf i even did to her!! and thats worse because i cant even rant properly about it!! shes slowly breaking me and jamie up (again!!!). the oher day she invited amber around, i mean WHAT THE FUCK?!!?!?!?!?! i understand she hates me but that is LOW!!

I hope Jamie doesnt read this, if you do. No offence to you, i understand you wont take a side, but this is my blog for my views. and tbh im at bursting point here!!

THEN my fucking IDIOT of a TWAT brother has fucking walked out!! just up and went! without a care in the world about what this is doing to me, dad and mam. and what its doing BETWEEN dad and mam! as long as hes looking big and clever in front of his mates its alright!! i honestly dont think ive seen him for two weeks till today when i popped in my nanas after school. i found she wasnt in, but HE was!! how DARE he?! its BULLSHIT!!

its just not fair anymore :'(i miss him like hell. and he doesnt care tbh. he really doesnt. you can turn and say 'i bet he does' but the truth is if he did hed be here. i thought we were close. but we arnt. not anymore. and id give anything to be a kid again in that rocket at blackpool, talking to the 'astronaught' and having him laugh at me.

this makes me take it all out on my friends and jamie, and then we fall out (break up, w/e) and i cant help it! im about to EXPLODE!!!

and its not fair! its always me!

and im SICK of it!

:'(

tonight i stayed in and cried in the bath.